The Best Compliment

The best compliment I have ever received, and one I can’t imagine being overshadowed in my lifetime, my four-year-old daughter has said to me semi-regularly over the last six months.


Sometimes it’s when she asks me to lay down with her before or after her nap; other times it’s when she wants to be picked up. She’ll get as close to me as possible, wiggling the whole time like she’s trying to cover herself with my warmth. She’ll smush her cheek into mine to the point of discomfort and inevitably jam her shoulder into my throat. But then…

 

“You’re so cozy! You’re always so cozy!” 

 

These words are the greatest gift to my mama heart.  They express a feeling I wish my birth to four-year-old self could have experienced. As a child in and out of foster care until four years old, I was so often lonely, scared, and cold. These words are my greatest gift because they mean I’m giving my daughter the greatest gift: a pillar of warmth and love. 

 

A pillar of warmth and love. Go explore, knowing I’m here. 

 

Yesterday we spent the early evening exploring tide pools together at Larabee State Park. Some of the time she wanted me to explore with her, other times she was content sharing the experience with her friends. As we walked across the barnacle covered rocks I’d say, “Let me know if you want help.” 

 

Her response was often, “I can do it myself,” and she’d go bounding on, but then we’d reach a place where she was unsure and her little hand would reach up toward mine, and I was there. 


Last night sitting around the campfire, she crawled into my lap, covered in sidewalk chalk and dirt. She had made the umpteenth trip back from exploring and decorating the gigantic boulder two campsites over with her brother and friends. But she came back to me and I was there.  She proceeded with her routine of demolishing my bubble and said again, “You’re so cozy!”

 

This morning as I reflect, I’m so grateful for motherhood. It feels so good to hold my children, knowing I’m giving them the love, warmth, and safety we all deserve to feel. 





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