Threads of Happiness
I feel my glow slipping away, fading with the summer sun. At one point in my life, fall was my favorite season and my mood would cheer at the sight of the warm-hued leaves. I first noticed the change during my second year of teaching. I attributed my lack of joy to having a difficult class of sixth graders. I would grunt in dismay at my alarm signaling to get out of bed. “Leaves have always been my favorite thing and I don’t even enjoy those,” I told my then-husband. I viewed happiness as something that happened to me, not something I chose. Depression and anxiety were pulling me beyond the horizon. In the 17 years since that second year of teaching, I’ve had a son, been divorced, remarried, had a daughter, and quit teaching. I’ve worked to heal traumas through individual and couples counseling. I’ve tried and stopped different medications. What’s helped most has been following the road signs to my own happiness. I make mental and written notes about the choices I make...